This past week I have had two people remind me that I haven’t posted in a while. I thought about it and I can come up with a lot of excuses. My summer has been busy with work (photo shoots for the 2015 catalog), Family (I have a new baby nephew and family visits), social life (ha yeah when I can have one) and the general life of an adult. On top of that I have been sick and so has Bella. I can list off a number of excuses but at the end of the day it comes down to one, I am censoring myself.
As a blogger, a writer, and a strong believer in the first amendment I find this as odd. I noticed this when I realized I have 4 almost finished stories that just need editing but I can’t bring myself to edit or post the documents. The thing is, lately I have been worrying about what I post. If I write this way will it sound stupid, is this information correct, is someone going to get offended, or how much should I actually post about myself and struggle on the Internet. By censoring myself I realized I am not talking about the important things that need to be talked about.
I started this blog because there needs to be more talk and information about Mental Illnesses and about Invisible Illness Service dogs. By sugar coating or not posting some of the harder topics, I am not doing that, in fact I am just playing right in to the stigma and ignorance many people have about these issues.
For the record, Mental illnesses are not pretty. They should not be ignored and they wont get better by ignoring them. They aren’t something people make up for attention. MI sufferers struggle to find a reason to live or go out every day. Each struggle is different. And who would want attention for being known as “the one who has panic attacks in plays”, or “that girl that spent a week in a mental health hospital that one time”, or as ‘that girl that fakes a disability so she can have her dog with her” any way. I think (I am making this up and don’t actually know) but I think that about 90% of suffers don’t want the attention. That is why most people hide these struggles and emotions.
With all this said, the month of August is a struggle month for me but I am going to try and challenge myself to write/post a minimum of 1 blog every 1-2 weeks. Maybe I will even talk about some of these struggles, finally. But I am hoping to enlist the help of my readers. If there are any topics related to Bella, Service Dogs, Mental Illnesses or me in general, please message me your ideas. Also, feel free to tell me if I am slacking. I want to make a difference by informing others but I cant do that if I am not trying. So here’s to a new start!